And Ladies, Remember To Die Before Telling A Man How You Feel

A case study in Emotional Sabotage

A Survival Guide for Recovering Emotional Martyrs

Congratulations! You've mastered the ancient art of loving someone so quietly that even you're not sure it's happening. You've achieved black belt status in the discipline of "I'd rather get hit by a bus than say 'I like you.'" Your emotional unavailability has become so sophisticated, it deserves its own Netflix documentary.

But what if I told you there's another way? What if you could stop living like feelings are a terminal diagnosis?

The Current Situation

You know the drill. You've been texting for three weeks. He sends you memes. You send him memes. You both laugh at each other's memes. It's basically a relationship, except for the part where neither of you has acknowledged that humans are involved.

You've analyzed his response time down to the minute. You've screenshot conversations for your group chat jury. You've googled "what does it mean when a guy uses the crying laughing emoji vs. just haha" at 2 AM like some kind of digital archaeologist.

Meanwhile, he's probably wondering the exact same thing about you, but you're both too busy playing emotional chicken to find out.

Why We Do This Dumb Shit

Simple: we've been trained to believe that wanting something makes us weak. That expressing interest is desperate. That the person who cares less has more power.

But here's the plot twist nobody prepared you for: this is fucking exhausting. You're spending more energy avoiding feelings than Navy SEALs spend in actual combat training.

Your Emergency Toolkit for Not Being Ridiculous

The "Fuck It" Method

When you catch yourself spiraling about whether his "goodnight 😊" means he wants to marry you or never see you again, try this radical approach: assume he's also a human with feelings and fears, not a cryptic puzzle designed to destroy your sanity.

The 24-Hour Rule

If you've been wondering about someone's feelings for more than 24 hours, you have enough information to ask a direct question. That's it. No more data collection needed. You're not the FBI.

The Mirror Test

Ask yourself: "If he spent three weeks analyzing my texts instead of just asking if I wanted to hang out, would I think he was charming or certifiably insane?" Yeah. Exactly.

The Reality Check

Text your most brutally honest friend: "I'm about to spend my entire weekend analyzing whether his Instagram story was posted for me specifically." Let them talk you off the ledge.

Scripts for the Emotionally Constipated

Instead of: Analyzing whether "sounds good" means he's excited or just being polite Try: "I'm really enjoying getting to know you. Want to grab dinner this week?"

Instead of: Waiting for him to define the relationship Try: "So what are we doing here? Because I like you, and I'm hoping you like me too."

Instead of: Assuming his delayed response means imminent rejection Try: Literally anything else with your time.

The Nuclear Option: Radical Honesty

Here's what happens when you just say things: either they feel the same way (great!), or they don't (also great, because now you know!). Both outcomes involve you getting to move on with your actual life instead of living in emotional purgatory forever.

Revolutionary concept: most people appreciate directness because they're also tired of playing guessing games with someone they might genuinely like.

What You're Really Afraid Of

Spoiler alert: you're not afraid of rejection. You're afraid of the 30 seconds of awkwardness that might follow rejection. You'd rather have 30 days of anxiety than 30 seconds of discomfort.

Your brain has convinced you that expressing interest will fundamentally change how someone sees you, but here's the thing: if someone thinks less of you for being honest about your feelings, they were never going to be your person anyway.

The Harsh Truth Section

Stop waiting for someone to read your mind. Stop expecting people to be as invested in analyzing your behavior as you are in analyzing theirs. Stop treating romantic interest like a shameful secret that must be protected at all costs.

Your feelings aren't that precious. They're not going to break if someone doesn't reciprocate them. They're just feelings, not priceless artifacts that must be buried in an emotional vault until someone proves themselves worthy.

How to Spot an Emotional Emergency

You're in crisis if you:

• Know his posting schedule better than your own work schedule

• Have assigned meaning to punctuation choices

• Are planning your own posts based on his online activity

• Have involved more than two friends in text analysis

• Are googling relationship advice about someone you're not actually in a relationship with

The Recovery Program

1. Set a deadline. If you don't know where you stand after two weeks of consistent interaction, it's time to ask.

2. Practice small acts of emotional bravery. Start with "I had fun tonight" and work your way up to "I'm catching feelings."

3. Stop consulting the jury. Your friends don't have more insight into his feelings than you do. They're just enabling your avoidance.

4. Get comfortable with discomfort. The awkwardness of honesty lasts minutes. The anxiety of uncertainty lasts forever.

5. Remember you're not applying for a job. You don't need to be perfect to be worthy of someone's interest.

The Bottom Line

You're going to feel vulnerable either way , hiding or being honest. One makes you feel vulnerable while getting nowhere. The other makes you feel vulnerable while getting answers.

Stop treating your feelings like a deadly disease. Start treating them like information that can be shared, discussed, and dealt with like the functional adult you presumably are.

The worst thing that can happen is someone says no. The best thing that can happen is someone says yes. Both of these outcomes are preferable to spending the next six months wondering what the fuck is going on.

Your new mantra: "I'd rather know than wonder."

Now go forth and say things out loud like a person who deserves to take up emotional space. The revolution starts with you stopping the martyrdom and starting the conversation.